What Dreams May Come
// Glorfindel looked down into passion-glazed black eyes. His thrusts were slow and deep, each wrenching a cry from the figure under him. Glorfindel placed a wet, open-mouthed kiss onto full, red lips before leaning back and rising to his knees. He lifted the long limbs spread before him and wrapped the slender legs tight around his waist. Strong, warrior's hands stroked up the flat stomach, fingers brushing briefly over pebbled nipples before circling the pale neck arched in ecstasy. Glorfindel's thumbs met around the throat, each tip resting against the fast beating pulse of the body he impaled. Those dark eyes met each thrust, each glance from him with love and desire shining in their depths. His thrusts sped up; faster and harder he slid into the willing body. Glorfindel's hands, with a will of their own, tightened. The harder the thrust, the tighter his hands squeezed. Glorfindel's back arched, his stomach tightening, and his hips slammed once, twice more. His climax wrung a cry from his lips, but not even as he rode out waves of completion did he remove his eyes from those below him. Glorfindel watched, mesmerized, as the dark-hued orbs that had held so much love now shown fear, confusion, and finally nothing.//
"Erestor!" Glorfindel cried as he was jerked from dreaming to wakefulness.
He sat up, the sheets falling to his waist. Glorfindel fought to catch his breath and escape the dream's grasp. He raised a hand to his chest, feeling the furious beating of his heart. Gradually, he became aware of the soothing hand rubbing his back. He looked over into Erestor's caring eyes.
"Melethen, are you all right?" Erestor asked, all the while he rubbed slow circles on Glorfindel's damp back.
Glorfindel moved away from Erestor's touch, not noticing the flash of hurt that came into his lover's dark eyes. He climbed from the bed and grabbed the loose sleeping pants that lay on the floor next to the bed. He jerked them on, the dream's aftermath making him shaky and clumsy in his movements.
"I am fine, Erestor. Go back to sleep," he ordered, his tone much harsher than he was aware of. Glorfindel also missed the paling of Erestor's face and the eyes that became damp and confused.
"Where are you going, Glorfindel?" Erestor asked as Glorfindel moved towards the door.
Glorfindel looked back at the vision in his bed. Midnight colored hair, straight and fine as silk was tussled wildly about milky pale skin. Eyes that match the night sky looked back him anxiously. Full, lush red lips parted as to speak again, but Glorfindel cut off the question before it could fall from those lips.
"I am going to get a drink, Erestor. Everything is okay, now go back to sleep, meleth." Glorfindel shut the door quietly behind him, leaving before Erestor could question him any further. What was he to say? I am sorry, Erestor. I could not sleep because I just finished dreaming that I killed you?
Glorfindel moved like a shadow through the empty halls, still cloaked in night's embrace. At no time did Imladris become more peaceful, yet lonely, than when its residents sought their beds. He moved soundlessly past the darkened Hall of Fire, past deserted libraries and offices. He wandered in his love's domain, picking up a quill here and a half completed parchment there. He smelled Erestor's scent upon the air and sat himself in the same chair that his love sat in daily while he worked at organizing the vast domain that was Imladris.
Glorfindel rubbed rough warrior's hands over his weary face and dropped his proud head into his hands, his misery settling around him like a cloak. If it were but the first dream of the like, he could excuse it. But, the nightmares persisted, consuming his sleep almost every time he rested, haunting him for the last fortnight. All alike. He was making love, or about to make love, to Erestor and then he murdered him.
Glorfindel lifted his head back and looked down at his hands, spreading them almost helplessly before him. He could almost feel Erestor's smooth, soft skin under his hands; he could almost feel his hands squeezing the life out of the one he loved. Glorfindel stood sharply and looked about him in dawning horror; he had to get out of Erestor's office! Each breath he took only drew the scent of his love deeper into his body, tormenting him with real and imagined images of the two of them together.
Glorfindel was oblivious to the tears that trailed down his face as he made his way towards the barracks and his office. Why? Why was his rest haunted by horrific images of him killing Erestor? He loved Erestor, had almost from the very first moment he met the brilliant Chief Councilor of Imladris. He had fought long and hard to push beyond Erestor's reserve, to conquer his elusive heart. No way could he or would he ever harm him! The images had at first only tormented his sleep, but lately those visions had visited him during his waking hours, time spent he alone with his lover. He feared greatly that the next time they made love he would look down into Erestor's onyx gaze and see dead eyes staring back at him.
Glorfindel entered his office and moved to the desk. There he took out a hidden bottle of Imladris brandy. The bottle had become his close companion these past nights and was the only thing that seemed to erase the sight of his hands around Erestor's throat. Glorfindel went to the ratty old couch, the only other piece of furniture in his office, and sat down, drinking heavily straight from the bottle, and he awaited its promised relief.
The ringing of the morning bell awoke Glorfindel and he groaned as he sat up, his back and neck protesting his choice of sleeping arrangements. His head was not too happy with him either. He made his way stiffly out the door and stood blinking in the brightness of Anor's rays. Once able to stand the brilliance of the day light, he glared around him, annoyed that the day looked so happy and untroubled. The bell sounded yet again, and Glorfindel winced realizing that he was late for the morning meal. What was he to tell Erestor? Not to mention that he had to make it back to their room clad only in his sleeping pants. Glorfindel made his way to the rear of the main house. Silently, he entered through the library's balcony, carefully closing the door behind him. He flinched and let out a gasp at the slamming of a book behind him. Whirling around, he looked into a pair of furious black eyes.
"Where have you been, Glorfindel?" Erestor demanded.
Glorfindel could not help the paling of his face or the sadness that flashed across Erestor's at this reaction. Glorfindel lowered his head, his golden, unbound hair swinging forward to shield his features from Erestor's gaze.
"I fell asleep in my office, Erestor. Sorry," he mumbled and was out the door before Erestor had a chance to respond.
Glorfindel walked down the hall towards their quarters, cursing himself. He should have remembered that Erestor often times forwent breakfast for an early start on his work day. He expected that he had a few moments to gather himself before the councilor arrived demanding answers. He was in the process of pulling on fresh leggings when the door flew open loudly and Erestor's angry figure entered, matching black robes and hair swirling about him. The door was closed as equally loud behind him and the livid Advisor stared at Glorfindel, his demands clear in his eyes.
"Damn it, Glorfindel! What is going on?" Erestor asked, his tone sharp.
Glorfindel forced himself to approach Erestor and take his stiff form into his arms. He fought to suppress the shudder that such contact brought out in him. "Geheno nin, melethen."
Erestor clutched him tightly and buried his face against Glorfindel chest. "What is wrong, meleth?" he asked, his voice strained with fear and worry.
"I just had a nightmare, love. I fell asleep in my office. It will not happen again, Erestor." Glorfindel broke their embrace before Erestor could feel his body tremble. He backed away and returned to dressing. He deliberately ignored the worry still visible in Erestor's eyes. "I have to go, seron vell. I am late as it is," Glorfindel placed a hurried kiss on Erestor cheek and left the room.
Erestor sat heavily upon the bed, eyes still trained on the door Glorfindel had just exited from. Glorfindel thought he had hidden his dreams from him, but he had been awakened each night as Glorfindel struggled to escape his nightmare's grip. Erestor sighed sadly. Glorfindel had been subtly pulling away from him for a week now and Erestor knew not what to do about it. That Glorfindel would not confide in him hurt terribly. He thought of going to Elrond to see if his Lord would speak with Glorfindel, but he did not want to go behind his love's back. He wanted Glorfindel to come to him, to feel comfortable enough to share what was tormenting him so. But so far, all Glorfindel had done was push him away.
Erestor returned to his office seeking to lose himself in the familiarity of his daily duties. Tonight, he would try once more to reach Glorfindel.
Glorfindel joined Elrond and the twins for the morning meal. He did not notice the concerned looks that were directed towards him as he took his usual seat. The dreams and sleeplessness showed upon his features; he appeared drawn with purple shadows under his blue eyes.
"Sorry I am tardy, my Lord," Glorfindel mumbled as he sat next to Elrond.
"Are you well, Glorfindel?" Elrond asked, concern heavy in his tone.
Glorfindel raised his head from his plate and smiled at Elrond. "I am fine, Elrond. Just need a little more rest." He knew his bright smile was false, but hoped Elrond would not push him for answers.
Elrond did not question him further, but he was aware that the half-Elf gave him several concerned glances as breakfast progressed. As soon as the meal was finished, Glorfindel excused himself and headed for the barracks. Before he had managed to escape however, Elrond's voice rang out in the corridor.
"Glorfindel, a moment please," Elrond called.
Glorfindel halted and closed his eyes in resignation. "Yes, my Lord," he answered and turned to walk back to where the half-Elf stood waiting.
Glorfindel followed silently behind Elrond and took a seat in his Lord's office. "You wished to speak to me, Elrond?" Glorfindel asked, his tone careful with only a hint of politeness.
Elrond sat and silently studied his Seneschal for several moments. "Are you sure that you are well, Glorfindel?"
Glorfindel sighed; he was not ready to tell Elrond of his horrific dreams, but maybe the half-Elf could help him sleep without the dreams for a night.
"I have been having some trouble sleeping, Elrond. Nothing serious, but I would appreciate an herbal aid if you do not mind?" Glorfindel hated the very thought of asking Elrond for sleeping herbs, but he could not continue on with so little rest. If he had to swallow his pride to banish his nightmares for even one night, then so be it!
"I will have it for you this very night, Glorfindel. If you need to share these dreams with someone, you know you can come to me, mellonen," Elrond rose from his seat and came around to lay a comforting hand upon Glorfindel's shoulder.
Glorfindel rose and gave Elrond a fairly confident smile. He wanted so very much to break down and confess these nightmares to his wise Lord, but he did not want to see the disgust on Elrond's face. How else could Elrond react, he asked himself, but with repulsion and horror that his friend dreamed nightly of killing his own lover? A lover who happened to be Elrond's closest and dearest of confidants and friends. Elrond would turn away from him, perhaps even lock him up for Erestor's sake.
After departing Elrond's office, Glorfindel forced himself to attend to his own daily duties. New supply forms had to be filled out and given to Erestor, the recruits had to be put through their morning workouts and duty rosters needed to be completed. By the time dusk had fallen, Glorfindel had worked himself into exhaustion. By-passing the dinning hall, Glorfindel entered his and Erestor's quarters, wanting nothing more than a hot bath. The room was deserted. Erestor must be at dinner, Glorfindel thought. Good. For he knew that their conversation from the morning was far from over and he dreaded what he would say to his dark love.
Glorfindel sighed as he slipped into the hot, soothing water. He had worked himself and his warriors hard. Glorfindel ignored the nagging voice that said he had, perhaps, worked them too hard. He had received glances all day and knew his inattention and conflicted features showed to all. Glorfindel forced himself to wash and exit the tub quickly, not wanting to fall asleep in the water. He drew on only light trouser before falling onto the bed. Just before sleep claimed him, he sent a plea to Lorién for a dreamless night.
//Glorfindel entered the chamber and smiled at the sight that greeted him. There he sat, Erestor, clad only in a scarlet robe, brushing his long dark tresses. Erestor cast him a coy glance and held out the brush in mute appeal. Glorfindel crossed to him and accepted the task. He drew gentle, loving stokes through the black silk that was his love's hair. Finishing, Glorfindel laid aside the brush and picked up a blood-red ribbon lying on the dressing table. He ran the silken decoration across the soft skin of his love's throat. Lifting the heavy mass of hair, he wrapped the ribbon around Erestor's throat, making a choker of the piece of fabric. Tighter he pulled, until the red began pressing into the pale skin of Erestor's neck. Glorfindel's eyes stayed locked upon the coal-hued orbs that reflected back at him in the mirror. He watched, still smiling as those eyes widened and filled with fear as breathing became more and more difficult. Until finally, they were empty. //
Glorfindel screamed as he shot up from the bed. He stood trembling, eyes frantically scanning the room.
His terror filled gaze swung sharply and landed on Erestor. His love was seated at his dressing table, but now had risen and started towards Glorfindel. "What is it, meleth?" Erestor had a red silk ribbon clutched in his hand.
Glorfindel's eyes landed on that ribbon and he held out a badly shaking hand. "Stop, do not come any closer, Erestor." Glorfindel backed away from Erestor, skirting the bed and slinking in the direction of the door.
Erestor seemed to lunge towards him. "Glorfindel, what is the matter?"
Glorfindel panicked. "Stay back, Erestor," he cried. "I cannot do this anymore," he managed and, with that, Glorfindel wrenched open the door and fled, ignoring Erestor's calls behind him.
Erestor stared at the open door in shock. He had no idea what had just happened. Quickly, he grabbed a robe and left in search of Glorfindel.
He searched for hours but could not locate the blond. He started to worry, hoping that Glorfindel had not left Imladris or worse, was lying hurt somewhere! Reluctantly, he glanced once more around Glorfindel's office; he was going to have to go to Elrond.
Erestor approached his Lord's door and knocked softly. He was startled as the door immediately opened and Elrond came out of his room, shutting the door behind him. Erestor frowned. Elrond seemed upset, as well as awake and dressed at this late hour, oddly enough.
"Elrond, I am sorry to disturb you, but something has happened and I need your assistance. Glorfindel is missing." Erestor tried to keep the fright from his voice, but he could not prevent the gasp at Elrond's words.
"He is not missing, Erestor. Glorfindel is in my rooms," Elrond said, wearily rubbing a hand across his face.
Erestor started forward, hand grabbing the door handle, but he jerked back in shock when Elrond braced an arm across the door, denying him entrance.
"Wait, Erestor," Elrond warned.
Erestor pulled back and looked into Elrond's worried eyes. "What is going on, Elrond? Why will you not let me pass?" Erestor knew his voice trembled, but he was beginning to fret a great deal about what was going on behind Elrond's closed door. "Why are you keeping me from Glorfindel?" he demanded.
"He does not wish to see you, Erestor." Elrond reached out to grab Erestor's hands as he jerked away from the half-Elf.
"W-what are you saying?" Erestor whispered, and his face paled as he stared at the door that stood between him and Glorfindel in horror.
"Erestor, listen to me, mellonen. Glorfindel is upset right now and not thinking clearly." Elrond soothingly rubbed the trembling fingers in his grasp. "Let me speak to him and see what is troubling him so," he said as he released Erestor's hands and turned back to his door.
"W-what do I-," Erestor's voice broke off, unable to speak further. He felt tears well up in his eyes and spill over to slowly trickle down his face.
Elrond turned back to his friend and took Erestor in his arms, hugging him tightly before releasing him. "Go back to your room, Erestor. Try and calm down and I promise we will discover what is tormenting Glorfindel so." Elrond opened his door carefully and closed it softly behind him.
Erestor pressed his lips tightly together to prevent his sobs from escaping. He stared at the closed door, his heart breaking. Finally, he turned and, with slumped shoulders, returned to the room he and Glorfindel shared, wondering if they would ever do so again.
Glorfindel raised his tear-stained face as Elrond reentered the room. He had never felt such fear, such despair, as when he awoke, the nightmare still playing through his head, only to see Erestor approach with that red ribbon clutched in his hand.
"I-Is he gone?" Glorfindel quickly rose as if expecting Erestor to enter the room.
"Yes, he is gone. Sit down, Glorfindel."
Elrond moved to a sidebar and poured Glorfindel a goblet of miruvor, and he handed it the shaking Elda. He cupped a hand under Glorfindel's, assisting the Elf as he took a sip. Elrond waited until Glorfindel had taken several sips and seemed to settle himself. "Would you like to tell me what is going on, Glorfindel?" Elrond watched as all the color drained from the blond's face and Glorfindel shook his head no.
"Glorfindel, Erestor was very upset that you did not wish to see him. Have the two of you had an argument?" Elrond asked.
Glorfindel dropped his gaze from his Lord's. "I do not wish to speak of it, Elrond. I just can not be near him." Glorfindel cringed as he saw the effect of these words on Elrond. He knew he was making him angry and that Elrond did not want to see Erestor hurt. But what Elrond did not understand was that only by distancing himself could Glorfindel also protect Erestor. Protect him from Glorfindel.
Glorfindel rose abruptly and sat his drink back upon a table. "I am sorry, Elrond, for disturbing you." He did not wait for the half-Elf's reply, but made for the door, needing to leave before he broke down and confessed all to Elrond.
Elrond stood as well and moved towards the Elda. "Glorfindel, wait. Are you not going to share with me what had you so shaken and weeping at my door just a short time ago, and what about Erestor? Will you go to him, my friend, and work out what has come between you?" Elrond shook his head, a frown upon his face. He did not understand what was going on with his Seneschal.
Glorfindel's expression hardened. He knew what he must do. "I will settle things with Erestor, Elrond. But, as for what occurred, that I am not ready to share with you. Goodnight, my Lord and thank you." Glorfindel gave Elrond a curt nod and quickly left the half-Elf's room.
To be continued...